hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
