i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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