Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
