She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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