If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
