chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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