____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
bring money and cleavage
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
