I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize