The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
