no, he came in my armpit
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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