OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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