Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
