We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
