I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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