I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
