Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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