He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
