at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
