Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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