yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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