we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
