I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
