wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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