yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
