singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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