i barfeds in our rink
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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