Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
