i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
