At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My vagina just clenched in fear
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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