I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
