i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
