I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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