a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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