i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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