i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
