I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
