How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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