It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
