I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Two words: nipple clamps
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