Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize