I heard we made out
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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