She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
