If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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