found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
