yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
