He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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