oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
