Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
