Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
