Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you never un-have a 4some
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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