how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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