uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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