Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
