My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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