I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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