im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
a search helicopter?!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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