All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
