Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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