Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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