you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
