she was so not down for the gang bang
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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