I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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