Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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