: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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